By Rose DesRochers :Today's Woman Expert Author
The times are changing. I have come to the conclusion that old fashioned dating is a thing of the past; today’s youth have turned to casual and random “hook ups.” Teens are in such a hurry to grow up. As the mother of a teen daughter, I have seen this first hand and it is frightening. Parents want the best for their children, but how do we protect them from the unhealthy consequences associated with random hook ups.
Excuse me, but ladies you need to have a little self-respect here.
In high school, dating has been replaced with random hookups that in turn result in meaningless relationships. What happened to taking things slow and getting to know one another? Young girls feel a need to have a boyfriend. They are unable to be independent. It is low self-esteem along with a need to feel loved by a male figure that leads girls into these unhealthy relationships.
Unlike when I was a teen dating, young men now no longer need to earn a girls respect. There is no longer any courtship. A young lady meets a young man and the next day there already boyfriend and girlfriend. What happened to the date? What happened to dinner and a movie and the hope for that kiss good night.
I guess I've been "out of the dating scene" for a long time. Courtship appears to be dead. What ever happened to the dating that we knew in high school? Girls need to look at Grandma and Grandpa. They are the reality of true love. Honestly though, the person they’ll be spending the rest of their lives with is most likely not going to be found in grade nine.
They may feel that they’re in love, but it is too early to be thinking of making that boy a life partner. There are many more fish in the sea. Teen girls shouldn’t be in such a rush to grow up. These are the years that they should be enjoying life, because one day they are going to wake up and look back on their teen years with regret. They’ll be thirty-seven years old with sagging breasts and a big behind. They will look in the mirror and say, “goodness what happened?” At that very moment they’ll long for the teen years that are now gone.
It’s okay to have crushes, but girls need to forget the steady relationships and if they do find a boy they like, they need to slow down. Take time to get to know him. Teens need to recognize the consequences of random hook ups and not getting to know a person. According to a poll conducted by NBC News and People Magazine nearly 3 in 10 (27%) thirteen to sixteen year-olds are sexually active. While some teens may realize the consequences of being promiscuous, many teens are not taking the measures to protect themselves. Sadly, random hookups represent today's culture, a culture where courtship is dead.
It's a scary thought, but if courtship is dead, what does this say for the future of marriage? Today’s teens will be tomorrow’s adults. Marriage, here today, gone tomorrow.
About the Author
About the Author: Rose DesRochers is the founder of Today’s Woman Writing Community , a supportive online writing community for men and women over 18. Rose DesRochers is also the founder of Blogger Talk Blog Community, a friendly fast growing blogging portal, offering bloggers support, advice, tools, tips and information about blogs and blogging. Vist Rose DesRochers's blog at Rose DesRochers- World outside my Window.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.
Source: http://www.todays-woman.net/
5 comments:
Very interesting topic you bring up here.
I don't think courtship is dead, just many people, especially teens and other in the "fun" stage of life, don't want it. With so many options out there, and general life opportunities, it can be a pain to be in a relationship. A relationship requires a lot of time and a certain amount of commitment that teens and other young people just aren't ready to give.
Priorities, attitude, and life opportunities (especially for women) has shifted so tremendously from the time of our grandparents, that the "random hookup phenomenon" goes much deeper than just hooking up.
I think it's the sacredness of relationships that are missing. People, today, are very aware that marriage is much more difficult than painted in the fairytales, and therefore are being much more careful before they enter into a relationship.
Though this last paragraph applies more to singles in their twenties, it has to rub off on the younger generation, since it is constantly overplayed in the media, and even personal life, since many of today's teens come from "broken" homes.
Then there’s the simple fact, that teens see “hooking up” everywhere in the media. Translation: Hooking up is cool.
So many of my young patients are stuck in this trend. I worry for their self esteem and moreover, their sexuality in that they don't seem to know what their own needs are....they focus on the "other" and not themselves.
Courtship is dead from my perspective. No romance....gone. Sad to me.
~Deb
I see this phenomenon in my 20, 30 and 40 something friends as well.
Its scary to think that the modern version of a relationship is a sterile, mechanical reproduction without any emotional connection.
As the sister of a random hook-up/boyfriend girl, I couldn't agree more. And it sometimes makes it hard to understand, because we had a decent upbringing, not great, but not bad either. We had both parents (even tho, our mother adopted us) and we went to church every sunday, did the youth group, and all that. she hasn't found what is going to make her happy yet, and it scares me at times. my neice is 15 and does the different boyfriend thing every week. it's really quite nauseating at times.
Modern day sexuality is picking up speed and is taking a sharp turn downhill. Unfortunately, the older generations divorce rate approaching the 50% mark is not helping the situation. Younger generations can no longer rely on their role models illustrating solid relationships. The title of this column correctly portrays the "no longer necessary need" to know someone's last need but surprisingly, sometimes we don't know their first names either!
I think its important that you've raised this issue. Well written :)
Benji
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