Rose DesRochers: Honor them with a Dance

By Rose DesRochers


As I look back on my life, I realize that everything happens for a reason. I watch the seasons of my life quickly pass me by and I think about how we are born, we live and we die. I think of those so deep in their job that they neglect those around them.

They put off calling those they love until tomorrow, but tomorrow never does come and then it’s sadly too late. When you look at the word Hello, look at it as a dance. When you pick up the phone or stop by to visit a loved one and let them know you are still around; you are honoring them with that dance.

Let me tell you a story.

Roger was a man who, from the time he was a young teen, he shut out those around him. He put his mind into his work. His mother and father both died before he was 40 and he didn’t talk to either of his teen boys. He never had much of a relationship with them growing up and he had disowned his only sister.

One day Roger looked up from the piles of paper that sat on his desk. He picked up the phone to call his sister. A young woman answered the phone. Roger said, “Hello is Sunetra there?" The young woman answered, “May I ask who is calling? “ Roger replied, “Yes this is her brother." “Uncle Roger this is Gracie, the young woman replied. “ I’m sorry we tried to get in touch with you, but Mom died a year ago. “Roger didn’t know what to say. He offered his condolences and hung up the phone.

As Roger sat at his desk he thought to himself, it’s too late. Roger put everything else in life before family and now he would never have the chance to hear his sister’s voice again.

Are you like Roger? Are you married to your career? When was the last time that you called a friend, your parents, maybe even your children?

Why is it that we have funerals? Losing someone that we love is devastating. The funeral is supposed to be the time when we grieve and honor our loved ones, but what if you never honored them when they were living. What if you were just like Roger.

You know I still recall my mother’s stroke. After her stroke the Doctor told me that my mother would never be the same person she was. My reply was that she would always be my mother. I strongly felt that way.

A few weeks prior to my mother’s death one of the staff at the nursing home called me. She told me that my mother was crying and would I speak with her on the phone. When I asked my Mom what was wrong, she just said she was worried about me. So I went in that evening to see her. She sat in her wheel chair and I sat on the edge of the bed. Mom was stroking my hand softly and crying. I asked her what was wrong and this is what she told me. She said “Rose I thought nobody cared anymore about me." I asked her what gave her that impression and her reply was, “Because I’m a cripple. “

My mother sat in a nursing home turning old and grey. She prayed that just one person would call, send a card, write or visit her that day, but no one ever did. No one had time. Friends and family were always too busy. I know we often put off in our lives many things and it is times like funerals that we gather with tear filled emotion expressing our love for a loved one gone to rest. I want to ask you, why it is that we wait till a love one is has gone to gather at their gravesite and weep.

My mother was waiting for my blessing the night she died. I gave my mom my blessing telling her just to close her eyes. She turned and looked at my brother then looked at me. I could see goodbye, I love you in her eyes. Then she turned, looked at the ceiling, and took her last breath. She was gone, but not forgotten.

I honored my mother every day of her life and she left this world knowing that out of the many family and friends she thought she had, I was the one who asked her to dance.

Don’t wait until your loved one has left this earth to honor them. Don’t be like Roger or don’t let your love ones die alone thinking that they are a burden. Please pick up the phone and call now and let them know that you care. Don't miss the chance to dance. Honor them today with a simple "Hello. “

Copyright ©2005-2006 Rose DesRochers



About the Author: Rose DesRochers is the founder of Today’s Woman Writing Community , a supportive online writing community for men and women over 18. Rose DesRochers is also the founder of Blogger Talk Blog Community, a friendly fast growing blogging portal, offering bloggers support, advice, tools, tips and information about blogs and blogging. Vist Rose DesRochers's blog at Rose DesRochers- World outside my Window.